DEREK FLINT RUINED ME FOR LIFE

So have you ever seen the "Our Man Flint" movies? If you haven't you are a barbarian and I am amazed that you are reading this BLOG. Only hip people read this BLOG and baby, you ain't it! Get thee to NETFLIX and don't comeback until you have rented them, watched them and GROKKED what really COOL means.

I have never understood why a whiney dilletante like James Dean is lionized and someone REALLY HIP, Steve McQueen, is almost forgotten. In the same way I have never understood why James Coburn is never spoken of in the same manner as Sean Connery. I mean Bond was COOL but FLINT...man he could do EVERYTHING!

Well, at least that was what I thought when I was 9 and the SPY FLICK was at it's peak. As a child whose parent routinely exposed him to the works of Charles Addams at an early age I understood full well what satire is. I knew FLINT was SUPPOSE to be satire but the inherant coolness that poured from James Coburn like bra sweat from a fat waitress on a hot summer day just overwhealmed the satire. To me Flint was too cool NOT to become a role model. I mean the guy could tell where a certain vischysousse was made with one spoon full, stop his heart on command and TALK TO FRIGGIN' DOLPHINS fer chrissake! How COOL do you have to be for a kid to start wanting to BE YOU??

So I set out to be Flint, I wanted to do EVERYTHING I wanted to KNOW EVERYTHING I wanted to be THAT COOL! Trouble is NO ONE can be that cool and what you wind up being in the fat boring guy at the end of the table who has a story or a bit of trivia to interject into every conversation. Some people find it amusing for a time but eventually they want to pour gasoline on ya, set you on fire and dance around you like the kids in LORD OF THE FLIES.

Other people blame this sort of behavior on ADD, I blame Derek Flint.